Impatience from others

lisaslarsen — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:37:27 +0000

I have had a number of clients complain to me that their family members just don’t get how they can still be grieving and crying for a dead loved one or other loss months after the loss. The family members often say hurtful things to them like, “you need to grow up and stop being a baby” or “let go of it already!” Some presume to know what the dead person “would have wanted” and it doesn’t include showing grief and sadness over their loss. I know that these responses can be hard to hear for a person who is still suffering from the loss. However, it often helps to consider that everyone has their own way of handling loss and some people are very uncomfortable with the painful feelings that go along with it, in themselves and in other people. I often advise people to tell those who are criticizing or judging them for showing grief, “I understand you’re uncomfortable with how I handle my grief, but I would appreciate it if you would stop saying hurtful things to me. I am doing the best I can, just like you are, and your comments are not helping me get over the grief any quicker. If you can’t be supportive, please just let me know and I will talk to someone else about it.” That way you are not lashing back at the person in anger, but you are setting appropriate limits with them so they don’t hurt you further.

This has now become a blog about grief.

lisaslarsen — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 03:31:34 +0000

My apologies to those who got used to it being about something else. I appreciate your loyalty. However, at this stage in my career, I am very interested in helping people with grief and transitions in their lives. I work with many people who are dealing with the death of a loved one, breakups of marriages and long term relationships, and other difficult transitions in their lives. Grief is a healthy response to a pivotal moment in a person’s life, and in that moment we have a choice to allow it to help us grow or to let it suck us under like a riptide. I hope that we can explore together ways to navigate the journey of grief so that it enriches rather than debilitates us. I will be posting monthly about different aspects of grief. I invite your comments and reflections. Thank you.

Navigating the Grief Journey

Impatience from others

This has now become a blog about grief.